News from Lake Cathie - WBC

The news report from the Lake Cathie Women's BC for the week ending Sunday the 15th of January, 2023 follows.

Thanks to Jill Howard, Communications Officer. for this report.

Lake Cathie Women's Bowling Club

Hello Ladies,

A great start to 2023 with good numbers on the greens this week, and lots of things to look forward to coming up. But first results from this week.

Tuesday, January 10
Social Bowls
Lucky rinks winners were Noelene Castles, Helen Millard and Veronica Stewart. Runners Up were Shauna Proctor, Anna Innes and Sue Wood.

Prize money in Club Points will be added to their Members Cards and these points can be used in any area of the Club including green fees. p.s. Don't forget to produce your Members Card when paying your green fees over the bar to accumulate points.

Thursday, January 26
Australia Day
Turnaround Triples - Open Gender
9.15 am start
A great way to celebrate Australia Day! $780 in prizes to be won. Entry $10 pp. S 3 Bowl Tournament Triples. Dress mufti, Australiana theme!
Sign Up now, maximum teams 26.

Tuesday, January 31
50th Birthday Celebrations and President's Day.
8.30 am. start.
Margaret Avery is collecting the $25.00 for lunches which will be a drop of a chicken and vegetables, or fish, chips and salad. Dessert will be our birthday/anniversary cake. Green fees are only $5.00 and should be paid over the bar as usual on the day.

Our first Trade Table of the year is also on that day and our Golden Girls will be invited along to help celebrate. As always we need your help in baking for both Morning Tea and the Trade Table, so bakers...start your ovens!

Yearly Calendar
Once State have finalised dates, District will then be able to supply their event dates and Match can get our calendar to you...watch this space.
Note Championships will be played from July onwards.

Joke of the Week

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in. The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story. "It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death. The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."

Cheers

Jill Howard
Communication Officer